I watched as the city burned, planes whining in the distance as they carried their destructive cargo. The fire blazed, casting strange shadows on the clouds above. We’d known it was coming. The others had whispered about it for days. Some weeping in corners as they tried to reach their family members still in the city. My heart twisted in my chest as Penelope sobbed behind me. Her sister was in there, as was Ethan’s friend. The guilt that had been weighing on me for the last week tripled hearing her gut-wrenching sobs. It was my fault. It was all my fault.

I looked over my shoulder to where she clung to her boyfriend. She’d saved me, and this is how I repaid her? My ambition and greed caused the death of hundreds, if not thousands. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I just needed a new sample to work with. I didn’t want people to get hurt. My teeth clenched as I forced myself to gaze at the flames as they licked higher, even as my eyes watered and burned. This small penance was all I could give them. I could witness their destruction and know my guilt, though I was too much a coward to admit it to anyone other than myself.

A commotion grew near the docks, but I ignored it, even as Penelope and Ethan rushed off. Sinking onto the icy concrete, I continued my morbid observance, the cold seeping in through the plain sweatpants the military had provided us. I watched as my muscles stiffened and I shivered, as my legs cramped and my teeth chattered. I kept my vigil until dawn rose over the burning ashes of the city, wholesale destruction in its wake. How many made it out? How much blood was on my hands? On my family’s? Once the sun was overhead, I stood, my shaking legs stiff and unable to hold me. I knew what I needed to do. And I had to go home to do it. Messaging him took moments. I’d been unwilling to contact him earlier. Instead, I stayed with the group that meant so much to me, that had accepted me because they were unaware of my sins against them. With a last glance at the funeral pyre that had once been a city, I walked inside to prepare.

I showered and dressed, plastering a fake smile on my face as I joined the others in the group. They didn’t know who I really was, and once they did, their smiles and welcoming cries would be lost to me forever.

“Avery!” Penelope greeted me after I grabbed my breakfast from the line. I joined her and her boyfriend at the table and smiled, praying it didn’t seem like a grimace. I liked Penelope. She’d saved me even when it could’ve endangered her and the others. She was a genuine, good and kind person, for all that she looked like she curb-stomped men who annoyed her.

“Morning.” I sat down across from them. They were a cute couple, sitting on the same side of the table as if they couldn’t stand to be parted by two feet of tabletop. Ethan kept touching her arm, rubbing her back, brushing her bangs out of her eyes while she smiled shyly at him, as if still shocked they were together. My chest felt hollow seeing them, a deep longing filling me. I’d never have what they had. How could I when every man I was with was inevitably scared away by my father? Or worse yet, when they sought me out because of my connections. Trusting a boyfriend was impossible. It was also why I valued my friendship with Penelope and the others. They knew me without all the baggage of my family, and they actually liked me. Which made my betrayal so much harder to bear. “What’s up?”

“Ivy is here! She’s alive.”

Penelope’s grin eased just the smallest bit of guilt from my heart. “Thank god, that’s amazing.” I didn’t have to fake the smile I gave her. “Is she ok? Did your friend make it out too, Ethan?”

He nodded. “Of course, I never doubted him.”

Penelope elbowed him. “Stop saying I told you so.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to whisper in her ear and she wrinkled her nose at him. Ugh. They were so sweet I needed to brush my teeth.

“Are they ok?” I asked, trying to redirect the conversation away from whatever he said to make her blush.

“Yeah, they’re banged up, but alright. So are the teens they escaped with.” Ethan answered. My heart twisted again. Kids. My mistake had killed children. How many? How much red did I have in my ledger?

“That’s good.” I managed to say, my voice strangled. Penelope noticed, being the considerate person she was, and reached across the table to place her hand on mine.

“It’s ok. I’m sure everyone you knew made it out, too. They evacuated tons of people.”

I nodded, swallowing the knot in my throat; the guilt trying to choke me. I didn’t have anyone in the city. That’s not what was upsetting me. But I couldn’t bear to tell my new friends the truth. Instead, I changed the subject again, and we chatted for a while. I managed not to flinch when I heard the helicopter approaching. Soon, this would be over. I wanted to soak in whatever time I had left. 

The door opened and a blonde woman who could only be Penelope’s sister came in, followed by a big man who stayed close to her. Penelope stood, rushing over to her newcomers, while Ethan joined them with an apologetic smile in my direction. They spoke for a moment, and my heart raced as I heard footsteps approaching. It was almost over. 

The cafeteria door opened and a towering Asian man in a black suit, standard attire for a Mycovartis security officer, stepped into the cafeteria. He was gorgeous, with thick dark hair cut fashionably, and a trimmed beard that accentuated his exquisite bone structure. His black eyes were hard and focused as he surveyed the room. “Is Avery Knight here?” He said, looking around before his eyes found Ethan and Alex and he froze.

“Aldine? Lacota?”

Ivy’s man whooped and ran forward, pulling the gorgeous man into a hug. “Jeong, what are you doing here?” He asked, laughing. Ethan joined him, hugging him as well.

“I got out right after you two.” He grinned. “Working for Mycovartis now, and I have to pick up one of their people.”

The new man, Lacota, frowned. He pulled the guard close and began whispering into his ear.

“I’m Avery Knight.” I stood up, bracing myself.

“Why would Mycovartis be picking you up, Avery?” Penelope asked in confusion. “You said you wanted to work at the Institute.”

Heat filled my face, and I wished I could hide my flush. Hide from this. But I couldn’t and I had to start dealing with it now if I was ever going to make this right.

“Oh.” Pen’s voice was flat, even if she looked venomous. “I see.”

My mouth opened and closed, trying to find the words to explain. The sharp look in her eyes broke what was left of my heart.

Her sister looked between us, confusion on her face. “What?”

“She’s a corporate spy.” Pen sneered, and I backpedaled, edging toward the door.

“It really wasn’t like that.” I started and Pen flipped me off.

“Sure.” She glared at me before turning her back on me as I stood there slack-jawed. My guard stepped away from Lacota, giving him a significant glance before joining me.

“Ma’am. I’m here to take you in.”

I nodded, looking at Penelope and Ethan over my shoulder once before following him out the door.

“Ms. Knight,” the new security guard addressed me and I blinked back the tears that had gathered. I knew they’d figure it out. It was more of the same and it was nothing less than I deserved. I drew on my strength, pushing away the hurt and the crippling guilt until none of it showed on my face and then I answered him, my facade intact.

“Yes?”

“I’m Nick Jeong, your new head of security and bodyguard.” He frowned at me, the corners of his sculpted lips turning down as he gazed at me. What a terrible first impression. Accused—correctly—of corporate espionage wasn’t an impressive look when meeting an employee.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Jeong.” I forced my mouth to work, smiling mechanically as he guided me through the buildings. Soldiers watched me with interest as we walked past, whispering to one another, their questions barely audible. “Please lead the way.” I addressed Nick as we passed.

“Why did Mycovartis send a helicopter?”

“Did they unload more Flucofulvin?”

“What do they want?”

I pretended not to hear anything, squaring my shoulders and imagining I was in my own clothes, not the cheap sweats the military had provided to the survivors, pulling on the veil of superiority I’d developed as a defense mechanism years ago. The noise of the helicopter blades intensified as we approached, drowning out the whispered suppositions of the soldiers. I waited as Nick opened the door for me. He helped me into the backseat of the aircraft, his hand engulfing my smaller one. A tingle ran up my arm when we touched, though he drew away fast, as if he couldn’t stand touching me. I sighed, putting on my seatbelt and headset. It was for the best. He was one of the most gorgeous men I’d ever laid eyes on in my life, but we also paid him to be here, making him off limits. I shouldn’t notice how handsome he is, or how his tanned hands bore callouses. I shook my head, instead gazing out at the destruction of the city. That was my focus now. Paying penance for my mistake. If it was even possible.

“Ms. Knight, I’m going to check your restraints and ensure you’re secure.” Nick’s voice came over the headset, a deep rumble that would have had me curling my toes in bed. No, Avery. That will not happen with him or anyone else. By the end of this, I’d probably be in Federal prison. I assented, lifting my arms to allow him to inspect my belts. His long-fingered hands drifted over my waist and lap, tightening straps until it pressed me against the seatback. Too tight? I squirmed a bit, loosening a strap as he sat back down. He didn’t comment, sitting himself in the seat next to mine.

“We should arrive at headquarters in less than an hour, Ms. Knight.”

I gave him an affirmative nod, instead focusing on the city as we rose into the air. The pressure changed, my ears popping as we climbed higher and higher, my stomach dropping as the helicopter banked to the side. I clenched the arms of the chair, my chipped nails in need of a manicure. He sat serenely as we traveled, the ride not bothering him.

“Have you traveled in a helicopter often?” I asked, curious.

“Yes.” He answered, leaving it at that. Well, I guess he didn’t like small talk. Fine with me. I watched the ocean as we came closer to the city. If you ignored all the smoke, the water looked the same as it had when I took the ferry to the museum. Somewhere down there, my car was a burning wreck. I’d have to arrange for a new vehicle. My breath whooshed out of me as we flew over the city, the buildings smoldering and half demolished. I’d never seen so much destruction in my life. It was unreal, like something you’d see in a movie, and part of me wanted to detach and view it that way. But I forced myself to bear witness to what I’d done, even as tears streamed down my face. I kept my gaze trained out my window, turned away from everyone else. How could I make it right for those people down there that lost everything? Was there any amount that equaled the loss of a loved one?

I wiped my tears, my eyes drying as we left the city, and my resolve grew. The suburbs were chaotic and in disarray. They’d be burned next, I thought, studying the landscape as we traveled south. The horizon to the west was smudged, a fire raging there. Most likely a burn to slow any spores that had spread. Thankfully, the weather had calmed down. If it rained, they might have a chance of controlling the advancement. I glanced up at the blue soot-filled sky, the sun still shining through the smoke. At least the wind had stopped.

Too soon, we touched down on the landing pad of Mycovartis headquarters. I took a deep breath, steeling myself as I unbuckled. Two men waited on the roof. One with silver hair and hazel eyes like mine, dressed in a bespoke suit that he smoothed as the doors opened, the only sign of his nerves. The man next to him was younger, gray just sprinkling his chestnut hair, but he still had eleven years on me. His bleached smile was visible at a distance in his tanned face, never faltering as I approached. I ignored his presence, instead turning to the silver-haired man whose frown mirrored my own. He lifted his arms, and I walked into them, finding the embrace cold. I stepped back as he assessed me, and I cringed in my borrowed clothes.

The CEO and owner of Mycovartis spoke. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

“Thanks, Dad. It’s good to be home.” I lied.